Broken Records

A broken record. All it takes to have a broken record is a small scratch that is barely visible to the eye. This minuscule flaw causes the record to skip, repeat, or not work at all. It often causes the owner agitation or sadness, especially when this record was one of the owner's most cherished. It no longer functions the way it was expected. 

Have you ever experienced a situation that seems like a broken record? It starts out as something small, but over time, the damage becomes greater and more agitating. Eventually, you come to the conclusion that the only option is to replace the broken record. 

I got married almost a year ago. Before my husband and I even got engaged, we recognized the importance of maintaining friendships. We knew we couldn't rely solely on each other to meet our needs. We needed friends to invest in and that would invest in us. We became broken records, repeating to each other and our friends the importance of spending time with friends through the changes. 

Close to a year into our marriage, our record has become more damaged. There are more scratches. Scratches that cut deeper than each one before it. Exclusion from activities is now the norm. Despite opening our home on a weekly basis for months after getting married, there is little to no attempt to invest in us- individually or as a couple. People who used to care about us have thrown us out like a broken record. They've found something "better". 

I look at my record. It is so broken that it doesn't even make a sound. It spins and spins. It's trapped in this never ending cycle. The only option is to discard this old, broken record and replace it with one that will once again bring joy to my heart and a song to my lips. 

Beyond that broken record, I'm broken. You see, every scratch to that broken record was a reinforcement of past hurts, pain, and fear in my life. No amount of honesty can make someone connect with me more. Friends are only friends until something better comes along. People only care when it benefits them. Just to name a few. 

But, there is hope! God has provided a new record. New friendships are forming. New opportunities are coming from these friendships. There are still wounds from the broken record, but God is beginning to heal them. God is showing that there is no need to cling to a record that is so deeply scarred and no longer working. He wants me to feel joy. He wants me to smile and laugh with friends. And he is providing a new record to do these things.